Sunday, October 9, 2016

Parable of The Monkey Guru

OK, ok I made up this one, so enjoy ...

One of the villager read Parable of The Monkey Business posted by Yaruzi and realized that the whole things were rigged, and that monkey market manipulation occurred all the time.

Based on this fresh revelation, he tried hard to sniff every movement of the monkey boss syndicate. He bought when he sensed hidden buying by the syndicate and sold when they secretly sold. He had some success but at times he got burnt too, as the syndicate was too sophisticated in covering their operations. This particular villager figured out that there was no way he could EVER consistently beat the syndicate in their own game, and made big money out of it. Indeed he ended up with a hole in his account.

However he noticed that the other villagers were driven by greed. They could be easy victims once their greed took over their senses. Once greed was in control, most of these naive villagers would be as gullible as "Bei kambing" (a term, my blogger friends: SMOL and CW8888, like to use). He could make greater profit from the "Bei kambing", without taking the risks of getting burnt by going against the syndicate.

So he devised a plan to exploit the greed of his fellow villagers. He promoted himself as the Monkey Guru and conducted the monkey operation course. To get the villagers to take the bait, he shared his version of Cinderella turned princess story in his newly created blog. There, he shared how he was making easy money trading monkeys, before he failed and badly burnt. At one point he was almost a bankrupt with only a few thousand dollars left in his pocket. But at the lowest point of his life, a new divine revelation came to him and he finally found the holy grail of the monkey kingdom. (Do you find similarities on all the Gurus stories that were trying to sell "exclusive" courses??)

The Monkey Guru posted his profits frequently and offer free course previews to draw the villagers to take his baits. Occasionally and selectively he posted small losses, so the villagers wouldn't perceive him as too good to be true. However he never shared his complete account! To be more convincing he claimed he could read the monkey boss' mind and posted himself with a Ferrari. Some villagers were drawn by their greed and paid a few thousand dollars to attend the Monkey Guru courses.

A few of the villagers attending the courses made money, but mostly lost theirs. The Monkey Guru congratulated the few, told them that they had it and made a video of them. He called them his students and use the video to further promote himself. (Have you ever asked why the Gurus have only 1-2 successful students video, though they claimed they have thousands of students??)

To the many who lost big time, he told them that they would be successful one day if they didn't give up easily. To cheer them up, he offered them a limited edition of "advanced" monkey operation course that was more expensive than the first one they attended. He promised to give a big discount if they signed up immediately. Most unsuccessful "Bei kambing" realized they had been taken for a ride, but too ashamed to go publicly to admit how they'd been deceived because of their greed and naivety. However some paid for the "advanced" course and lost even more.

One hedge fund took notice of the Monkey Guru and offer him a potential job. The Monkey Guru was so over the moon and immediately posted the offer in his blog. The hedge fund quietly discard their plan after the Monkey Guru was not able to share his full audited account of real profits and losses. Someone else also found out that the Monkey Guru no longer had his Ferrari. The Monkey Guru dismissed the doubt by saying that he currently lives in town and no longer need the Ferrari ...

If you want to know what happen next, you're welcome to enroll for my next preview course ,.. It's FREE. Please hurry or you'll regret, because this would be my last course for the year before I go on long vacation!! I only have a few seats left and I didn't know when I would start my courses again!!! (begging, begging, tolong, tolong)


  1. LOL! I followed the Monkey Guru's blog since his initiation and poked him until I got myself ban and unable to comment!

    His dream job is to join Hedge Fund; but now he builds dreams for "Bei Kambing" instead of dreaming.

    1. CW, the secret is poking with parable ... LOL. Later I will conduct parable writing course and I will call myself the Parable Guru. But before that, allow me to buy a Ferrari first ... I'm getting one from Toys R Us

  2. That monkey guru blogger sounds familar ..... Hmmmm

    1. Charmerz, he who has ears to hear, let him hear!

  3. Yaruzi,

    Your parable will be understood by those of us in the retail trading community ;)

    I see we have another blogger in our community who knows how to 棉里藏针!

    Hee hee.

    1. SMOL,

      I still have more parables involving monkey. Hope you don't get bored.